Children can be resilient, but parents must set the stage and be good guides. I will work with you (& your ex if appropriate) to help you understand what your kids are going through and how you can help.
The following books and resources can be very helpful (clicking on the link takes you directly to Amazon):
Helping Your Children Cope with Divorce (Random House, 1998) by M. Gary Neuman. Very helpful in understanding what children go through.
Simple and clear but critical articles detailing cornerstones of parenting during divorce: 12 Ways to Help Your Kids Deal With Divorce, Parenting After Divorce: 9 Ways to Parent on Your Own Terms, The Do's and Don'ts of Divorce for Parents
Mom’s House, Dad’s House (Simon & Shuster, 1997) by Isolina Ricci. A classic guide for divorce, shared parenting, self-care, and creating parenting plans.
Two powerful videos from the child’s perspective:
Split — A Film for Kids of Divorce (& Their Parents)
Don’t Divorce Me — Kids’ Rules for Parents on Divorce (HBO)
Simple and clear but critical articles detailing cornerstones of parenting during divorce: 12 Ways to Help Your Kids Deal With Divorce, Parenting After Divorce: 9 Ways to Parent on Your Own Terms, The Do's and Don'ts of Divorce for Parents
Article: Can Your Child Benefit from Counseling? Guidelines for Parents on Therapy for Children
On Stepfamilies:
Dr. Patricia Papernow is one of today’s foremost experts on stepfamilies. Her new book is Surviving and Thriving in Stepfamily Relationships: What Works and What Doesn't (Routledge, 2013). Here is a short article about a simple, but profound topic: Steps to Ease Dinner Stress for Stepfamilies. Here is a video of her recent interview with Katie Couric.