Divorce Coaching can help during each of these important times:
— Decision Making: Should I Stay or Should I Go? Common issues I work with are: What might be the impact on the children? How do I know when it’s time? How bad is “bad enough”?
— Separation: Adjusting to Living Apart; Negotiating the Divorce Settlement Common issues I work with are: How do I find the right attorney or mediator? Mediation vs. Collaboration vs. Litigation…which route should I go?* Does my “ex” have to be my adversary? Who can help me make important financial decisions? How do I best help and support my kids?
— Life Beyond: Loneliness Fears, Co-Parenting, New Partners Common issues I work with are: What do I do if the terms of the divorce agreement are violated? How to manage when my “ex” has a partner and I don’t (or vice versa)? When do I introduce my new partner to my kids? How do I know if my kids are doing ok?
As a Divorce Coach, my job is twofold — emotional support and practical help.
*Here is more information about 3 different options in getting divorced.
********************************************************
The following articles, books and resources can be very helpful:
On Making the Decision:
Too Good to Leave; Too Bad to Stay (Penguin, 1996) by Mira Kirshenbaum. Based on clinical research this book is a helpful guide to those wrestling with the tough question.
Susan Pease Gadoua has developed a “Workability Quiz” — as a "preliminary assessment and not the sole basis for a decision.” She has also created a website called “Contemplating Divorce” with very helpful resources.
On Divorce & Children:
The following books and resources can be very helpful (clicking on the link takes you directly to Amazon):
Helping Your Children Cope with Divorce (Random House, 1998) by M. Gary Neuman. Very helpful in understanding what children go through.
Simple and clear but critical articles detailing cornerstones of parenting during divorce: 12 Ways to Help Your Kids Deal With Divorce, Parenting After Divorce: 9 Ways to Parent on Your Own Terms, The Do's and Don'ts of Divorce for Parents
Mom’s House, Dad’s House (Simon & Shuster, 1997) by Isolina Ricci. A classic guide for divorce, shared parenting, self-care, and creating parenting plans.
Two powerful videos from the child’s perspective:
Split — A Film for Kids of Divorce (& Their Parents)
Don’t Divorce Me — Kids’ Rules for Parents on Divorce (HBO)
Simple and clear but critical articles detailing cornerstones of parenting during divorce: 12 Ways to Help Your Kids Deal With Divorce, Parenting After Divorce: 9 Ways to Parent on Your Own Terms, The Do's and Don'ts of Divorce for Parents
Article: Can Your Child Benefit from Counseling? Guidelines for Parents on Therapy for Children
On Stepfamilies:
Dr. Patricia Papernow is one of today’s foremost experts on stepfamilies. Her new book is Surviving and Thriving in Stepfamily Relationships: What Works and What Doesn't (Routledge, 2013). Here is a short article about a simple, but profound topic: Steps to Ease Dinner Stress for Stepfamilies. Here is a video of her recent interview with Katie Couric.
